May 11, 2004

Cooking with Kev

Those of you that know me quite well, will be very aware that I have pretty much never cooked anything in my entire life. This can be put down to a combination of laziness, and having only done jobs that provide free meals until I reached about 30. Everything I've ever made can be counted as beans, spaghetti hoops, and other tinned produce on toast, putting pizzas in the oven, pasta shells with mayo and tuna fish, and 3 omelettes (under supervision).
Until now, that is. Recently, I have been undergoing cooking instruction from Kev the master chef (well, master something, anyway). Every Sunday for the last five weeks, I have created a culinary masterpiece, under the supervision of Kev, and now I can actually make white sauce. It's all been very interesting and exciting, so I asked Kev to write a few words about the results of my expeditions into cooking land. This is what he had to say -

Week 1 - Kev Curry
As an opening play, this was a brave move. Despite having to be told the basics such as what a saucepan was, and how to cut up certain vegetables, all went well. This was very much an exercise in how I could cook remotely through the medium of Paul. It went well, tasted just like Kev Curry, and as such, was great.

An impressive start - 8/10

Week 2 - Pasta Bake
Did make the slightly foolish assumption that Paul may have learnt the simple task of how to chop veg up, but bless his combhead, he still required a degree of supervision. However there was something a little wrong with the finished product. I will refer to it as a lack of flavour. I suspect that Paul has not fully grasped the principals of herbs.

Disappointing follow up to a promising start - 4/10.

Week 3 - Mashed Potatoes with Cheese Sauce and Sausages
Now I should have learnt by now, but I was still a little surprised when Paul wasn't really sure what the hell to do to make mash. It was during this meal that I also discovered he has no concept of how to gauge amounts of food and ingredients. I don't think I've ever seen that much mash. He did do a sterling job of the white sauce though.
I failed to instruct him on the sausages that were being grilled, foolishly thinking that he would remember to turn them. They were not ruined though, and the meal was enjoyable aside from the sheer amount of potato and cheese sauce. Apparently this is a delicacy in the Beaton household. Well it takes all sorts doesn't it?

The only word I can think of is interesting, but good effort all round - 6/10

Week 4 - Caribbean Rice
Call me crazy, but I thought Paul should be forced to attempt a recipe from a cookbook with only limited assistance from myself. I think it was more a case of Paul wouldn't have made the leap himself; so he must be pushed screaming into the traffic. Okay, so I had to help him with the additional bit of shopping that we did, but I would say that on the whole Paul handled the pressure well, even negotiating a tricky rice moment, that I will happily admit left even me a little perplexed. We narrowly avoided a near disaster with the amounts of spices and herbs, but a very tasty dinner was enjoyed by all. However, Paul's time management does leave something to be desired. Time allotted by recipe: 30 minutes. Time taken by Paul: just shy of an hour! Must do better!!

Very good, except for the time keeping - 8/10

Week 5 - Pasta with Cheese Sauce, Onions and Leeks
So is Paul getting cocky, combining 2 previous recipes to form a third, or was that all we had left in the house that could satisfy our ravenous hunger quickly? Well a little of both is the truth of the matter. This really is quite a basic recipe, and as such was something of a step backwards. I fear that Paul may prefer to rest on his laurels, rather than push his goals further. Taste was adequate, but again the quantities were painfully too much. It satisfied my hunger, but was that all it did?

Score for stopping me being hungry - 7/10 , otherwise 5/10

There you have it - roll on next Sunday...

Posted by paul at May 11, 2004 03:40 PM


Paul what can I say. Brave move. And a most delicious write up. I wonder if the food was as good as the muse, but then does that really matter? Isn't it the step taken that count. Excellent.

Posted by: Johan at May 13, 2004 04:24 PM


Deleting my valid comments, because you can't handle the truth.

Food nazi.

Posted by: Kev at May 14, 2004 11:14 AM

Ulp, okay so you've actually adjusted the score.

I will be quiet now, sorry.

Posted by: Kev at May 14, 2004 11:16 AM